Here In Pieces

I once claimed something was true when it wasn’t.

I said that I could only see you through the rearview mirror – and I’d never let you catch up to me again, but -

After the third time, I stopped saying it. 

Because every time I would, there you’d be with your long brown hair and dark eyes.

Whispering something about the cold air.

I’d give you my jacket and you’d stand there gazing up at the stars asking,          
“Whatever happened to us?”

Maybe I shouldn’t have assumed, but I thought you wanted to be loved by

                                    your heart on your sleeve

                                                and the gaze of your eye.

So, I would go on to open up the feelings that I had held for months locked inside.

Thoughts about where we went wrong, how we could mend things and maybe we should.

You would take me by the hand.

            Offer a distant “That sounds nice.”

And we’d sit quietly under the moonlight waiting for the world to turn.

Sitting in your bedroom floor, we shared secrets of our past

And foundations for our future.

But standing here tonight in this bar

We share nothing at all.

Not even an appetizer.

Her hand keeps finding it’s way towards your lower back,

And your fingers keep searching for mine.

I am not prepared to be your plan B, so I sneak off to a corner

With some girl named Rachel,

I’ve always liked that name.

Your gaze finds me again, your fingers wrapped tightly around your drink

Giving me the very look you gave me the first time we met.

It’s the same one I got the night that you told me that we were supposed to be together.

And it’s the one you gave me when you drove away.

It’s a look that says, “I’m broken, but please don’t fix me.

                                                            I had rather be loved here in pieces.”