Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Death of a Flower

My breath floats up around my face, disappearing into the cold dark air.
This sort of thing would never happen in Los Angeles.
These tears dry before ever reaching the tender part of my cheeks.
I never thought you would do something like this.

And you never thought I would find out.
Women are seen, but never heard…
But I heard her loud and clear.

Large but harmless.
That was you, right?
The grizzly bear, with pawing hands.

Her entire life was wrecked..
The way she feels now, when touched by a lover.
The way she can't open up to another.
            You destroyed a world not yours to change.
And lied about it to appear her insane.

She cringes at a gentle touch.
She cries whenever alone.
And ten years later, she can’t share
            Without pushing her eyes to the floor.
The memory takes her too far back where she had been before.

Is this why your son finds his fingers where they shouldn’t be?
Like father like son.

She was a child.
Not a pair of gloves.
When you pluck a flower,
                                                      It dies.

Monday, December 22, 2014

City Lights and Sea Shells

City Lights and Sea Shells

A faux starry night is formed by moonlight
Bouncing off shards of glass scattered on asphalt.
The sounds of the rumbling city around us match our beating hearts,
The city of angels.
The city of dreams.
Your hand sits gently but haphazardly in mine
Unsure yet what you’re holding on to.

What we knew has long since disappeared,
And what took its place has left you puzzled and exhausted.

I’m not what you expected.
I’m not what you envisioned.
I’m not tall, dark or handsome.
I will never make buying
“His and Her” items

It will not always be black and white.
I won’t always understand what you’re going through.
People will always have questions,
And we will not always have the answers.

But when it rains, I will give you my jacket.
I will open doors for you even when your hands are empty.
When you hate the beginning of a movie,
And find yourself wanting to watch something else instead.
I will gladly give you the remote.
Even if we are thirty minutes in,
And I have waited all season to see it.

I will never steal the covers –
                Unless I am wrapping them around us.
I will hold you when you want to be held,
                And give you space only when you need it.
I will give you passion and romance,
                And I will give you time to accept them
Because I know that we are treading unfamiliar waters.

I cannot make you promises,
But I can prepare you dinner.
(And I will wash the dishes.)
I will make you mix tape upon mix tape
Until country music breaks your heart
Just so I can put the pieces together again.

I will hang wind chimes outside of your window
So that every day when you wake up –
You’ll hear something almost as beautiful
as the sound of your voice.
I’ll give you my patience, and my words, and my trust.
                In return, I’ll ask only for your honesty.
-          And probably back rubs.

Because I am a crashing wave,
                But you are a one-of-a-kind sea shell.
History has packed itself inside of you like sand
And I intend to explore every grain.
Spilling out your secrets one by one on the ocean floor
                Understanding what created you -
And then repacking them with mine
So you will never feel empty again.

I cannot be what you are used to.
                But I can show you everything you’ve missed.

Like city lights and sea shells. 

Friday, December 5, 2014

The Issue With America

Many have asked me recently about my thoughts on the Mike Brown case. My thoughts are that it is devastating. Mike Brown didn't deserve to die. Not for being big. Not for being black. But extends further to the Trayvon Martin case. And the Eric Garner case. We as a society in general have been in a slumber believing that this country is no longer racist, but that's only perceived as so because we no longer discuss race. Martin Luther King Jr even shared the follwing with Grosse Pointe High School on March 14, 1968. (This was 21 years before I was born.) 

"And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity." - MLK Jr.

Doesn't it sound very relevant today? Because nothing has change. We're still fighting to prove the same point. Black lives matter. All lives matter. Ferguson is more than a riot… It is more than a protest... Ferguson is a movement. 

Steven Anderson, a pastor in Arizona announced recently that he has discovered the cure for AIDS. This man, with nothing more than a highschool degree has preached to an entire conregation that "90% of AIDS would disappear if we killed off the homos like the bible recommends." Sounds a lt like the beginning of Hitler doesn't it? 

This is why education is key in saving our country. We are among the most advanced technologically… Why are we so apprehensive mentally? If this man has his way, I will be dead in 20 days. Start counting. 


Our society is facing major moments in history. Civil Rights. Gay Rights. (To be clear they are the same thing.) Marriage debates. Racial Debates. The people fighting for their rights have no reason to fight other than the fact that they were born outside of the status quo. What side are you on? Love yourself enough to realize that we are all different in some way. Perfection is boring and you will be so much happier if you're able to share more love than hate. 

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Try To Love You Anyway

This Life

It’s complicated.
Please let me dump out this old cliché here at your feet.
And explain that I meant it
Every fucking word.
That I said.
Here on your doorstep standing in the rain.
Your hand on my hip.
And we kiss.
Underwater fireworks.

A phase that passes with every sobering slumber.
Growing more complicated by the hour.
My eye on your prize.
Your hand on my wallet.
Your touch on my cheek.
My hand in your hair.
Then you hold me…

I forget for a moment that you’re not interested.
And I’m single.
Because playing house is easy.
And your heart is complicated.
I try to love you anyway.

- Tennessee Martin

My Lovely Apology

I wanted to say that
I’m sorry.
For making promises that I knew I couldn’t keep.
When you reached for my hand that evening,
I should have shoved it deeply into my pockets,
Next to all of my other bad decisions.
Because you are far too kind
To fall in love with a
like me.

My friends tell me that my heart is one made of gold,
But I can only believe
That means it is harder than stone.
Because despite the love you gave,
I took –
Without ever considering how empty
You would feel when I left.

I am more broken than you realized,
Swimming here in the back of my own mind.
These cavernous dreams full of darkness.
It’s the only place I feel safe enough
To let go. 

My thoughts echo through my heart
Like a pounding drum.
I loved you.
I hurt you.

And your silent reaction tells me you’re over
Being treated like a hand-me-down sweater.
A second thought.
Something I put on when I’m lonely and cold.
Because you know that you can do better.
 And you know that I can’t.

The clock ticks as I watch minutes
Roll off its face like tears.
I know that you’re standing somewhere by
The ocean watching waves wash away
The insecurities that I gave you.

And somehow, even in my mind

                                I’m drowning.