You + She = Me

Light peeks in under the edge of the doorway.

Heat resonates around my eyes.

The tears that spill softly,

I’m certain are near a boil.

My heart.

It beats slowly.

And echoes the truth that is still, you’re gone.

That simple smile.

Those dark brown eyes.

You used to be so happy. 

You used to be so… you.

Always laughing.

Always.

And now she replaces you…

This girl.

Those same brown eyes, darker though.

Deeper.

They have seen pain.

They’ve seen the things that made you so naïve.

She is still good.

I still love her.

But there are things about you that I miss.

Like how your love was effortless.

How your heart was pure.

I miss your enchantment with the world.

Are you still out there?

Are you ok?

Is it possible that maybe I’ve overlooked you?

Occasionally she reminds me of you.

I hear you in her voice.

It almost sounds the same.

There’s a slight quiver that tells me she’s different.

Your confidence never shook.

Certain.

So sure.

But maybe she will get there.

Maybe she will learn.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

She tries.

I see it in the way she moves.

She struggles to fill your shoes.

She struggles to be who I want her to be.

The truth is that she is me.

You are me.

We have been jaded,

But we’re learning to walk again.

We’re learning to love.

We’re learning to share this body once more.

So I pick us all up off the floor.

And I place one foot in front of the other.

Help me remind her who she is.

What she is capable of.

Help me love myself again.

The way I did before.