Thursday, May 10, 2012

Little thing called life...

In this moment, while listening to “Fine By Me” by Andy Grammar, I lay in bed smiling. How cute would that be? To have someone permanent…

Ironically “Build Me a Girl” followed it. Now this guy has the right idea. He knows what’s important. What are we here for if it isn’t to love and be loved? Take a step back for one minute and take a look at the overall picture. We as children in the ideal life are free to read books all day during the summer, and spend our afternoons talking on the phone or playing outdoors. Life is so simple. We never think twice about the troubles we cause our elders. I for one know that although I was a pretty good kid, I’ve been a pain in the ass a time or twelve. Not to mention as I got older, I became hell on wheels…

It’s amazing how angry a 22 year old can get. You spend so much time thinking about the decisions your parents made, and how you’ll never be that way. I know that I thought that I was better than where I came from. Who I was. I was going to change it. I moved to California, bought some skinny jeans, and stopped wearing a bra. All of a sudden I became this entirely different person. I was better than Tennessee. Better than my past.  

I took on the position of Executive Assistant at a Non-Profit production company, and next thing I knew I was hanging out with celebrities, attending Hollywood events and for some reason more and more people knew my name. I developed an attitude and stopped calling home. I was grown.

What I found was I lost myself out there. I wasn’t mature enough to be on my own yet. I still felt like the world revolved around me, but the truth is it’s much bigger than you and I. A million miles away there is a little boy in Africa crying because he can’t count how long it’s been since he ate a meal. Not to mention the little girl who just can’t count because education isn’t that important. In many countries women are still considered property, and people have to hide in their homes for fear of being a victim of war. First World Problems has been trending on twitter, and I’ll admit that I’ve used it myself but the thing is it’s real. I recently spent two weeks without a cell phone. For the first two days I was nothing short of going through withdrawals. By the end of the two weeks I hardly thought about it. Mind you I had my work phone, but only my mom and best friend used it to reach me. No games or apps, no texting. A lot of people have never seen a cell phone, much less owned one. For a quick moment it was just me and life. One on one. I found that I’m not so bad at it… This life thing. I love life. I love everyone in it. I want to help everyone. I want to love. Bringing me back to my first point. What is life about? It’s not to see who can earn the most money, just to die and give it to someone else. It’s not about how many people realized how awesome you were or who wanted to be you. It’s about loving someone. Anyone. Everyone. It’s about taking responsibility for our actions and helping our fellow man/woman. It’s about accepting each other’s differences and hating only hate itself. (Kudos to Obama's public announcement.)

It’s about each and every one of us putting our hearts out there with the trust that no one will break it. If everyone was vulnerable then it’s no longer vulnerability. So live, love, prosper and find happiness within your hearts. If you can’t find your own, I have plenty to share.

Remember me... I'm Tennessee.

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