Looking for Goodbye

It’s quiet.

I can hear the beat of my heart, but nothing more.

Memories project on the backs of my eyelids,

And I know that I might break down.

It’s never easy.

Letting go of the one that you’ve grown to love.

Yet, sometimes it’s necessary.

Sometimes you’re both better off.

Your bags are packed in the corner,

and my head hangs towards my chest.

My footsteps they drag on and on…

Shuffling like your cd playlist.

I really tried to love you,

But I’m still learning to love myself.

I feel I’ve said this once before,

But it might have been to someone else.

And I know that means I'm broken, 

and that none of this makes sense right now.

But all I have is my own fair judgement.

Nothing more… but nothing less. 

I feel a little stronger as my tires take me miles away.

I wonder how I’ll do alone out there in the big city.

Because nothings ever been any more real,

Than how much I've hurt you.

I can write a thousand poems,

Watch the rivers turn to dust.

I can lift up my voice in anger

Watch fear tremble through my hands.

But I will never forget the look that you gave.

The last time I hugged you and asked for some space. 

I can never forget the way you told me you cried.

A tough love kind of girl mending a broken heart.

You're better than I ever imagined. 

Your heart is bigger, more full. 

But you can not hug me through the demons

And I can't hold you through the lies. 

I guess this is me looking for goodbye