Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Revisitng the Past

What if that “better life” that we all dream of is actually accessible. What if we could reach out and touch it? After all, I’m not sadistic or pessimistic enough to believe that we were put on this earth with no purpose. No one wants to wander around aimlessly with no ambition whatsoever. Even those who are complacent in life yearn for love, and vice versa.

See the truth is, that we can. Contrary to popular belief money can’t buy everything. It can buy a lot, even enough to make you think you have it all… but it can’t buy the things that really matter. With a positive attitude you can see the things that matter are the ones closest to your fingertips. It can put you in a clear mental state that is supportive and uplifting; the things required to achieve your highest potential. With a positive attitude you will have confidence, faith, and love. Those are the real necessities in life.

 Most of us don’t have bank accounts with six figures at our disposal. We can’t leave our jobs and fly off to Paris whenever we have a bad day. We can’t afford to stay for a week at the Hilton if our home if we experience a tragedy in the home. We can’t all pay for our children to attend their top pick for college without long nights of checking every detail of their homework hoping one day they will be awarded a full scholarship. The truth is, we may never have the ability to do any of this. We might always have to work for the things we want, but there is no point in being negative about it. It takes away everything good that you do have. After all, who ever got anywhere being broke and bitter?

I’m sitting in an airport right now. I’m two and a half hours past my original boarding time with another three hours in front of me. Our plane was struck by lightning in it’s last trip so now here we are waiting for it to be repaired. I should be an hour away from seeing my mother right now, but instead I’m plugged into Delta’s very strategically placed electricity outlets that make me question how often this airline experiences difficulties such as this.

I’d prefer to have eaten a hot meal by now. Instead all I can find are prepackaged sandwiches and fake meat on a stick. I’d like to be sleeping or stretching my legs, but the rest of flight 2020 is struggling to entertain themselves next to me. I suppose I could go down to the bar and have my second drink, but the bartender would think I’m a lush and the drinks are ten dollars each. I could be irate. I could line up behind the twelve other passengers at the boarding gate and blame/question the attendants who are as clueless as I am to what is going on, but I’m not.

Instead, I’m trying to stay positive. I’m listening to “Kiss the Girl” on my I-phone while typing this blog post. Saxon is next to me drawing in my sketch pad with a pen and some crayons. (That is all we could find for her spur of the moment art project.)  We both feel a little like children. Completely helpless, waiting to hear some good news for the first time today…

Then again, maybe we already have.

Maybe we heard it at 2:30 when the flight attendant announced that an electrician found damage to the left wing of the plane and we would need to deboard. In light of Boston’s tragedy yesterday, I can’t help but be grateful. Although I’ll be arriving five and a half hours late to my home, hopefully with these measures I will arrive safely.

Fast Forward

I wrote this on April 16th.  Most of the places I traveled over the last week weren’t equipped with internet, so I’m just now getting the chance to post. We landed safely in Tennessee. My mother and sister picked us up from the airport. It was so nice finally seeing them again.

 I think traveling to England made me realize how much I missed them. Rose and I saw nearly every remaining member of my family, and I even took her out to my family’s farm in Cerro Gordo. 260 acres, and we barely scratched the surface. We walked field by field, and pointed to every stream, tree, and pasture that I played in when I was a child. It was so nostalgic, and a little heart breaking. I miss the days of running free through the woods.

I think we all try so hard to grow up, that we miss out and overlook some of the most beautiful times in our lives. I remember playing outside until dark chasing after fireflies without a care in my little 260 - acre world. It seemed huge at the time. It also seemed complacent. Little did I know, that one day I would wish I could roam free through that world again, contained only by the property lines and my imagination. Seeing it through Rose’s eyes was also equally as incredible. I’m sure it was a lot like seeing England through mine. She was blown away by the terrain. She gazed out over the Tennessee River with peaceful eyes. It really is beautiful. 24 years have helped me forget how much so.

As I lay here, back in California… part of me still yearns for Tennessee. My family surrounds me there. The woods,  the water, they all watch over me. Not just an endless ocean that rolls in and out, but a river. A body of water that flows in one designated direction. A path that is sure to take you somewhere, with the ability to climb out at any given destination.

Maybe that’s what I miss… The consistency. Ironic isn’t it? I have spent most of my adult life running away from the one thing I truly miss. Don’t get me wrong. I still love L.A. My heart is in Tennessee, but my mind is here. This is what I want. This is what I need. A few more weeks back here and I think I’ll remember why I came here in the first place. I begin my new job on April 29th. (I feel like I’m always starting something new, but that is a blessing isn’t it?)

I’m sure that when I pick back up into work, and stop gallivanting across the world I’ll be able to focus on what I need realistically.

I apologize for the gaps in my writing. It has been so hectic lately that I haven’t really had the time I’d like to spend on my blog. I will say however, that I am working on something pretty cool… A book. I believe I have mentioned it before…

Maybe I can get some input from some of you? What do you enjoy reading about the most? What do you think really makes The Graduates Guide.  Email me all of your suggestions to tennmartin@gmail.com. That’s all for now.

Remember me,


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