“I can’t stand to fly. I’m not that naïve. I’m just out to find the better part of me. I’m more than a bird. I’m more than a plane. I’m more than some pretty face beside a train and it’s not easy to be me.”
Superman - by Five for Fighting. I find that actually prefer the Boyce Avenue cover most of all. It just happened to come on Pandora when I opened up my laptop. I left it there. Screen burning bright, glowing back at me. Music ringing through my ears, echoing through the canals to my mind.
There are a whirlwind of thoughts taking over me tonight. There are a few reasons for this…
I found out today that someone stole my debit card. They spent almost $600 in just a few days. All I have to say is I really hope they needed it. Mind you they spent it all on gasoline, and stayed in the same city so I doubt it was an urgent emergency to get them across eleven states to their family (just a guess), but I’ve never understood stealing. My stepsister did it all the time when we were younger. She would find something she wanted in a store, pick it up, and walk out. I could never fathom it, considering our parents raised us to believe that we didn’t need anything we couldn’t afford. We made do with what we had, or we found a way around it. I spent my entire lunch break on the phone with Bank of America, I’m thankful that I brought a Campbells Soup On the Go to work.
It really put me in a negative mood. I couldn’t stop bouncing back and forth between anger and devastation. Of course the bank is refunding my money, and it will all be dealt with accordingly, but still. I can’t help but wonder who this person is that results in taking from others. So nonchalantly lifting funds from my account to supply their own. I really hope that they find what they’re looking for, but something tells me it won’t be at the bottom of my savings.
Moving forward past my untimely experience with money thieving petrol purchasers, I went to see Zero Dark Thirty tonight. I’m going to tread lightly on this subject, because I know that this film has been a sensitive matter. I won’t say that I loved the film, because the story clearly isn’t one to “love”. I will say, however that Katheryn Bigelow did an amazing job directing, and that Jessica Chastain was brilliant in the roll of Maya. I would absolutely watch the film again. I think that’s it’s important for us (Americans) to face this part of our history, but also see the “behind the scenes” of what was the “Bin Laden Pursuit”.
In the first few minutes of the film, it opens with audio clips of victims from 9/11. One very brief comment is from a young man to his mother. “Hey Mom. I’m sure you heard about the plane hitting tower one. I’m safe in tower two.” As I heard it, I became sick. It’s disturbing how many people thought exactly as he did. Those people thought that they were safe… They thought it was over.
As the second tower fell, so did our hearts.
The film moves forward with a very grotesque torture scene with a detainee captured from the Saudi Group. This scene was upsetting for me. I kept having to remind myself that 3,000 American just died at the hands of terrorists. Seeing anyone tortured is difficult, and internally I couldn’t decide if it was justifiable. I’m fully aware that Americans have been captured before, and suffered the same treatment. This cruel world often abides by an eye for an eye in many situations. This scene reveals the captivating Jessica Chastain. She makes it very clear in the beginning that being there isn’t her choice.
As the film progresses, you begin to see her characters obsession with the hunt of Bin Laden. She states at least twice in the film that she wants to kill him. It is unimaginable to me that some peoples “jobs” are to take the lives of other human beings. At the same time, I respect and support the defense that our military provides us. This internal struggle stuck with me for the entire film.
I won’t spoil the ending, because I hope that each and every one of you will watch it. Not necessarily as a “feel good” enjoyable film, but as an important portrayal of the lives lost, and affected by this tragedy. I will say that the ending leaves a rather open ended question. I would love to know what all of you think about it.
On a much lighter note… I landed a pretty awesome gig this weekend as a Production Assistant. I can’t say where yet, but Monday’s post should be pretty awesome. Either that or terrifyingly horrific.
For those of you who don’t know what exactly I do, I’m transitioning into P.A work for film or television. A P.A or Production Assistant is basically someone on set who assistants the crew in any and every task that they might need dealt with. I will be doing everything from grabbing coffee, to holding documents, running errands, ordering lunch, keeping people outside of the production away from the set, assisting the talent (cast), etc… This particular job is for a very popular reality TV show…
I’ll let you know more after the fact.