Sunday, November 25, 2012

I Wonder

The darkness settled.
Your heart pounded gently beneath my fingers.
Never a love has beat against the tips like yours.
The stars shone down upon the hood of my car.
Reflecting on your skin.
Our bodies intertwined like the lonely days in my head.
Each one replaying, remembering life before you.
How lonely.
Misplaced once again, hiding from the hate.
Shielding ourselves from the choice words of society.
All I heard was the silence surrounding me, and the steady of your breath.
In and out. Quietly. Permanently.
And as my hands found your waist,
They reminded me that life is far greater than just living.
Life is a chance. A time to explore.
No more do we have to hold our tongues.
We say what we feel, but then… then we waited.
I remember how it felt. Terrified. But right.
I couldn’t stand the thought of who I was…
But on the hood of my car, no thought was necessary.
Instead I found your lips.
Parted them gently.
Longing for the reassurance of forever.
Knowing that forever would never come.
Hoping that they were wrong about me.
I was good. I knew it.
I wasn’t twisted or perverse.
I only loved the one who captured my heart.
I had no control over the hands behind the love.
I was young, and simple… But never free.
My freedom was captured by those who took it freely.
Taken. Stolen… By those who resented the peace that I had found.
Rolling now. Tossing and turning in a bed that isn’t familiar.
I wonder if you’ll ever return the way you said you would.
I wonder if I will ever feel those tips, or the tips of another..
That burned at the touch, when we held each other.
I wonder if I’ll ever again love with the passion in which I loved you.
And I wonder if you’ll ever do the same thing too.

I wonder. 

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