Last night I fell asleep at nine p.m.
I think this past week finally caught up with me. I know that it seems like I’ve not said much since I arrived in L.A, and the truth is I haven’t. I’ve been soaking it all in. It took me a while to get everything moved in, and cleaned up. It took even longer to figure out my own schedule.
Let me catch you up a little.
Monday through Thursday I drive twenty- forty minutes (depending on traffic) down to Culver City for my internship. I am working for a freelance production company on everything from general assistant skills, to casting work, etc. I can’t disclose the projects that we’re doing, but I can say that it’s been a week and I’ve already learned a lot.
Friday through Sunday I will be serving as the Assistant to a well known Stephens Alumn. My hours will vary, however I’m looking forward to making a little money on the side. It’s been so nice having my own place. I spent Friday cleaning, and then Saturday was laundry day. I’m starting to get in the hang of my own routine.
What’s great about this is, it’s the first time I have ever really had it. Even when I was in Columbia recently, there was a limit to my time there. I knew I was there for six months, then had to figure out my next move.
President Dianne Lynch at Stephens College, said to me once. “Find where it is you want to be and the rest of it will come.” Looking out my window this morning, I feel like she was right. I love Los Angeles. Even the dirt and the smog. Yes, I might hate that some drivers are inconsiderate, and the traffic is horrible. I might hate that the homeless rate is ridiculous, and that it takes an hour (maybe more) to get from one side of the city to the other. What I love about it though is that at certain points on my drive home from my internship, I can see the Hollywood sign. I love how when I’m hungry and have no idea what I want there is literally a new option on every corner. I’ve tried at least three little hole in the wall restaurants now, and I have to admit they’re bomb. I love that I’m so close to the beach, and that on any given night, I can drive down Hollywood Boulevard, and watch the families of tourists as they squat with their hands in a cement block searching for a chance at similarity.
It’s insane. Most times it feels like just another town. One that I’m really enjoying adjusting to. Then occasionally, it hits me that this town is Los Angeles. City of Angels. Where dreams live or die.
I miss my family. The twins especially. I hate how much of their growing up I’ve missed. I know that I couldn’t benefit them any more by staying, which helps ease my mind. Sometimes I just wish I could open my front door, and hear them come running.
Peyton: “Casey! Tyler pulled a card today.”
Tyler: “Peyton, I got to put it baaaaaaack.”
I can hear it now. Their little voices bantering through the door disconnecting me from the rest of my apartment. I wish I could just open the door and let them in.
I took last night to sort of refresh my self. I lit a few candles in my bedroom, stared at the trees outside, the wind blowing through my open window, and lay in my bed trying to connect to my inner thoughts. Week by week I’ll slowly get my together, together. I really feel like this is where I’m supposed to be.
I’m so glad you’re all here with me on this journey. It’s going to be a truly remarkable one.