So Much

So much. Where do I even begin?

To begin, as some of you already know, last weekend I worked on a little show called “The Voice”. It was open casting calls in Los Angeles, and I stood on my feet for twelve hours, two days in a row shuffling 3.000 scared/excited individuals to their destiny.

I met so many incredible people, from the ones behind the scenes, exhausted as we worked side by side, to the ones in the hallways who were literally beside themselves with nerves. More than once, people would ask me… “Do you think I’ve got a shot?” Now as a production assistant, I couldn’t really offer them advice, so instead I responded with “Do you?” It wasn’t about whether or not I believed in them. It was always about whether or not they believed in themselves.

I couldn’t help but smile though when someone that chatted with me before going inside would come out holding a pass to the next round. Fingers crossed I’ll be able to follow a few of them through to the live auditions. That weekend was such an eye-opener for me. I am probably the luckiest person I know. This is what a weekend looks like for me…

I don’t even mind anymore that I work 7 days a week, because it doesn’t feel like work. When I’m doing my job, I feel happy, thrilled to be a part of such a creative and wonderful environment.

Last Friday I had lunch with Loni Anderson and Bob Flick from The Brothers Four. They’re friends of my boss, Dawn Wells. You probably know her as Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island. They told me their love story of how they met in Wisconsin when she was 17. He was 24, and just out of college. She pretended to be a senior in college, and he was a huge young adult heart-throb singer. They talked for a few years and drifted apart. She went on to be an actress, and married Burt Reynolds. They stopped talking and almost forty years later she saw Bob on a talk show. She picked up the phone and called his office leaving a message. He picked up in the middle of the message, but remained silent. “Bob, is that you?” she asked. “I’m trying to think up something clever to say about Wisconsin.” He replied. They’ve been married now for five years I believe. Seeing them together, is like watching love struck teenagers.

This week I watched my beautiful girlfriend perform at The House of Blues, and right now… Well, right now she’s setting on an amp across the room typing up her latest press release. It takes everything I have not to rush across the room and wrap my arms around her begging for the attention she can’t afford to give. Instead I sit patiently, typing away on my laptop.

Ok. So I did run over there to steal one kiss.

Lying in bed last night she said to me “ I want to get something for us both for Valentine’s Day. We can keep it here.”

“What is it?” my natural response.

“It’s silly really.”

“IS IT A PUPPY?!”

“No babe.” She laughed.

I can’t really have a puppy right now anyway. I’m far to busy… but I can’t have a baby either, so a puppy is more realistic.

“Tell me.”

She lay against me, with her head against mine.

“I think we should pick out a rocking chair.”

Can I just add that she could have said  “toilet paper” with that English accent, and I would have agreed.

“A rocking chair?”

“Something that can watch our love grow over the years.”

I melted. I can’t wait for our rocking chair. I can’t wait to write love poem, after love poem in that chair. Listen to her play her guitar, and sing me thousands of beautiful songs from that chair. In fact, I don’t think that anyone has ever been so sweet, and so thoughtful towards me.

I love her.

I know without a doubt in my mind that I love her. I don’t want to sound naïve… I won’t say that I think she’ll be forever… But I will say that I wouldn’t mind a bit if she was. We’re still in the “Honeymoon” phase. I still get butterflies when I see her. Even now, she’s out with her cousin at a concert, and I’m going stir crazy trying to think of something to write that isn’t about her.

I can’t.

Actually, I’ll take that back. I’m fine with writing about her. This is the most inspired I’ve felt in months. She makes me push. I sit still when I’m alone. Resting. Waiting. She’s the kind of girl that had rather do anything than wait. She likes to live.

A musician with a law degree, and an English accent. Did I mention I was lucky? It’s interesting, because I can think back over the last year or two. I met some really lovely people. I even thought that I was in love. Maybe I was, but she didn’t love me. When I look into my girlfriends eyes, I see a burning fiery passion welling inside of her. I know that every touch will melt me, and I cling to her. I hope for more.

I would drive ten hours to spend ten minutes with her, but she would never let me. She would meet me in the middle. And then we could spend 5 hours and ten minutes in the arms of one another. God… this is what this feels like.

“Marry Me” by Train is playing on Pandora. I’m certain that it can read my mind. She actually said to me last night “I don’t want to scare you, but I’m going to marry you one day.”

I believe her.

I am sitting in her house now, waiting for her to get home. I’ve spent the majority of the evening talking to her dad. He told me that he could remember the night that we met. The look on her face when she said “I’ve met someone.” It’s so interesting to hear about our love from someone else’s perspective. See, I knew that I adored her, and she said that she’s loved me since the moment we met… but he laughed when he said “I hope that you stay with Rosie.” As if he knows something that I don’t.

 I think I’ll wind down this post with one final bit of advice…

Don’t run from it. If love is there, right in front of you, waiting to be felt… cling to it and never let go. Now, let’s hope that I’m smart enough to take my own advice.

Remember me…

Tennessee