In this moment, while listening to “Fine By Me” by Andy
Grammar, I lay in bed smiling. How cute would that be? To have someone
permanent…
Ironically “Build Me a Girl” followed it. Now this guy has the
right idea. He knows what’s important. What are we here for if it isn’t to love
and be loved? Take a step back for one minute and take a look at the overall picture.
We as children in the ideal life are free to read books all day during the
summer, and spend our afternoons talking on the phone or playing outdoors. Life
is so simple. We never think twice about the troubles we cause our elders. I
for one know that although I was a pretty good kid, I’ve been a pain in the ass
a time or twelve. Not to mention as I got older, I became hell on wheels…
It’s amazing how angry a 22 year old can get. You spend so
much time thinking about the decisions your parents made, and how you’ll never
be that way. I know that I thought that I was better than where I came from.
Who I was. I was going to change it. I moved to California, bought some skinny
jeans, and stopped wearing a bra. All of a sudden I became this entirely
different person. I was better than Tennessee. Better than my past.
I took on the position of Executive Assistant at a
Non-Profit production company, and next thing I knew I was hanging out with
celebrities, attending Hollywood events and for some reason more and more
people knew my name. I developed an attitude and stopped calling home. I was
grown.
What I found was I lost myself out there. I wasn’t mature
enough to be on my own yet. I still felt like the world revolved around me, but
the truth is it’s much bigger than you and I. A million miles away there is a
little boy in Africa crying because he can’t count how long it’s been since he
ate a meal. Not to mention the little girl who just can’t count because education
isn’t that important. In many countries women are still considered property,
and people have to hide in their homes for fear of being a victim of war. First
World Problems has been trending on twitter, and I’ll admit that I’ve used it
myself but the thing is it’s real. I recently spent two weeks without a cell
phone. For the first two days I was nothing short of going through withdrawals.
By the end of the two weeks I hardly thought about it. Mind you I had my work
phone, but only my mom and best friend used it to reach me. No games or apps,
no texting. A lot of people have never seen a cell phone, much less owned one. For a quick moment it was just me and life. One on one. I found that I’m not so bad at it…
This life thing. I love life. I love everyone in it. I want to help everyone. I
want to love. Bringing me back to my first point. What is life about? It’s not
to see who can earn the most money, just to die and give it to someone else. It’s
not about how many people realized how awesome you were or who wanted to be
you. It’s about loving someone. Anyone. Everyone. It’s about taking
responsibility for our actions and helping our fellow man/woman. It’s about
accepting each other’s differences and hating only hate itself. (Kudos to Obama's public announcement.)
It’s about each and every one of us putting our hearts out
there with the trust that no one will break it. If everyone was vulnerable then
it’s no longer vulnerability. So live, love, prosper and find happiness within
your hearts. If you can’t find your own, I have plenty to share.
Remember me... I'm Tennessee.
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